All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize