Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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