Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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