We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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