So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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