I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
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You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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