so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize