You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
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Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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