Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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