Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize