if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You dont lie about slip and slides
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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