I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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