It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize