i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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