My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize