I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize