I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
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I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
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My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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