Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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