Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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