It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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