there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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