Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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