first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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