the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
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sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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