Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize