butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize