Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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