Your dad touched me again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize