Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize