i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
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What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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