Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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