They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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