well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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