dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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