I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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