so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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