dude i'm inner monologue high
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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We were licking ciroc off the poker table
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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