Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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