she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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