she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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