She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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