i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize