quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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