Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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