Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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