You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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