Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig

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  (314): My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig http://tfl.nu/q8sk
  Replies (3) Good night (994) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.

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  (913): I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens. http://tfl.nu/whjl
  Replies (9) Good night (1880) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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  (706): yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning http://tfl.nu/1trw
  Replies (38) Good night (1050) Bad night (7750) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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  (940): I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner. http://tfl.nu/au8r
  Replies (41) Good night (4168) Bad night (1549) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (8758) Bad night (1918) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.

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  (585): i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope. http://tfl.nu/beur
  Replies (5) Good night (2491) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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  (609): I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from. http://tfl.nu/yx57
  Replies (11) Good night (2618) Bad night (692)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.

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  (334): Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its. http://tfl.nu/ucnl
  Replies (11) Good night (1413) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."

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  (717): He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird." http://tfl.nu/0yzz
  Replies (9) Good night (685) Bad night (3097) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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  (410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2757) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  no drinking for a week

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes

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  (512): no drinking for a week (1-512): if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes http://tfl.nu/kuw5
  Replies (4) Good night (2554) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.

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  (316): I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction. http://tfl.nu/n8tp
  Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (1247) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

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  (856): and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her http://tfl.nu/d5zb
  Replies (2) Good night (1549) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.

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  (650): That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands. http://tfl.nu/y7oo
  Replies (2) Good night (186) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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  (586): Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right? http://tfl.nu/hfcq
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt

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