I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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