the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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