You can't special order awesome
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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